I have struggled with my weight my entire adult life. It affects just about everything. I don't feel girly, I don't enjoy shopping for clothes or shoes, doing what little hair I have left, getting massages, shopping for shoes (yes, I know that's twice, but girls really like to shop for shoes), or any number of the other things that mark you as a "typical" or "average" woman in our society. I don't even like the color pink.
I have tried all my life to find the thing that would work for me. I do well on Atkins, but inevitably cheat and fall off the wagon permanently. I know the incredible power of writing affirmations, I just forget to read them. I know the effectiveness of visualizing what you want. I even know A TON about nutrition. But knowing and doing are two different things.
My weight has reached a point that I am becoming unable to function normally. I cannot sleep through the night. I cannot walk around Wal-mart without becoming winded. I can't stand for long periods of time in the kitchen. There are other things it affects that are too intimate for the public townsquare of the internet. I really must do something. At the same time, I am growing in a desire to know God more and to please Him. In the past few weeks I had begun to pray, "Lord, I do want to lose weight, but I'd like to do it in a way that brings you glory, and I'd like it to be something that other people can see, and do, and succeed at."
There are many reasons why I have struggled with weight and health issues my entire life, some of them actually legitimate. Yes, I have hypothryoidism, polycystic ovaries, almost certainly candida overgrowth, not to mention generationally bad eating habits, and psychological traumas that impair my self-control, but I suspect that the health conditions may actually be CAUSED by bad eating and weight gain, rather than CAUSE the weight gain. Can't prove that, though. Doesn't really matter anyway. The point is I sit here with about 200 pounds to lose. That sounds daunting, but I am not discouraged or intimidated. I am EXCITED! Why?
Last week I watched a documentary called, "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" on Netflix. If you have access to this movie, I would highly recommend viewing it. The results of this juice fast are nothing short of astounding. I am inspired and hopeful that I will actually be able to stick to this way of eating for many weeks, long enough to get my weight down to a manageable level and exercise a lot more. This would be a good point to share one of my many profound revelations I have divined recently. Ready? [ahem]
You can't really lose weight with exercise. Exercise is for fitness. You lose weight by eating right.
Sounds contradictory, doesn't it? It's a real shame and an evil trick of nature and Krispy Kreme that you can eat 300 calories in two minutes, but it will take an hour to work them off. An hour of miserable, sweaty, constantly clock-checking exercise. Yes, it is theoretically possible to actually exercise off your weight but it would take forever and be torture. Or at least it would for me. I doubt I'm alone, though.
Why am I starting this blog?
Several reasons.
1. Because I hope it will "keep me honest" by forcing me to check in every day.
2. I hope that my success will inspire and educate others. Truly, if I can do it, everyone can.
3. I have ridiculous daydreams about this being a success and inspiration to others. If it is, I need proof that I actually lived this.
Why "Carpe Juicem" for my blog title?
When I think about my life and what I want it to be, what I wish it were, I realize how much I'm missing out on because of my weight and my physical limitations due to my lack of self-control. There is so much I want to do and don't do because I'm self-conscious. Maybe I'll do an entire post on that later. The point is that it is past time for me to seize the day, seize control of myself, seize opportunity, seize LIFE. Maybe a better title would have been "Eureka!" I have found it--the answer, the key, that helps me get over my psychological stumbling blocks and actually walk into the world and the life I could be having. Gee, that's cheesy.
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