Day 5 - Why Am I Doing This?

I'm beginning to feel the affects of the detox today in the form of a bit of dizzyness.  Otherwise I feel great.  I ate green pepper, yellow pepper, cucumber, apples, and a juice I made of a ton of spinach, carrots, a little pineapple (didn't juice well, I was surprised), apple, pear, lemon, and celery.  I don't mind the taste of celery, but you really can hide it in a complex juice.  I also find that you can get a fair amount of juice by running the pulp through again.  For supper, I had an avocado and small orange tomatoes.  YUM.  I wouldn't have thought so previously, but my taste buds are changing.

My memory is beginning to clear a bit.  I have been having more trouble than usual in the past few weeks thinking of things I usually know.  For instance, last week, I couldn't think of either of the stars of Gone With The Wind (Clark Gable and Vivienne Leigh) or the lady on tv with pink hair (Jan Crouch).  It distressed me because that's something I should have been able to call to mind immediately, and it wasn't a "tip of the tongue" sort of unremembering.  It was like I didn't even remember the brain path to the cells that stored that information--didn't even remember which hemisphere it was in.  That seems to be clearing up a little though.  Good thing because I'm about to start studying for the CPA exam and I need to be able to remember lots of minutiae (like how to spell minutiae, thank you spellcheck).

I struggled last night with thinking of bad foods for the first time.  My previous "diet" attempts have yielded the same temptations.  I hesitate to say "diet" because this really is a time of resetting my levels, so to speak.  Resetting my ideas of portions, of what foods are good, resetting my stomach's actual size to normal so I get full faster, etc.  It wasn't too bad and I managed just fine, but today, I decided that what I needed to do was make a list of why I am doing this and then make a separate list of what is tempting me.

I really do feel like food addicts don't make the logical connection of cause and effect.  I know that ice cream and cake and cookies make me fat and unhealthy.  I know that being fat keeps me from doing things I want to do.  I know that the pleasure from indulging is exceedingly short-lived, and as soon as I'm done indulging the craving has abated, but so has the pleasure.  However, when the cookie's in my hand, I don't connect "this cookie" to "the reason I can't buckle an airplane seatbelt".  It's just such an absurd way to live the only life you're given.

So tonight I sat down to make my list of things I can do when I've lost the weight.  I was immediately able to name about ten things.  I am sure I will add to the list.  Then I went to make the list of things that are tempting me right now.  Oddly enough, with my goals fresh in my mind, I couldn't think of one.

By the way, 4.5 pounds down and the adema is gone from my ankles and legs.  I'm shocked it happened so quickly.